OCD & Anxiety Disorders: Crash Course Psychology

Being a mum means less pay and rise in anxiety levels

Not so steely: ex-PM Margaret Thatcher, dubbed the Iron Lady, wept when her son, Mark, was lost in an African desert

Here's a new phrase to conjure with: the 'motherhood penalty'. It is being advanced by the Fawcett Society, which has campaigned for women's rights since 1866.

The 'motherhood penalty' refers to the fact that a woman's income often declines when she becomes a mother. Men and women may be at level pegging in the job market when they are young and childless. They compete with a reasonable degree of equality for promotion and advancement.

But then – ping! When a baby arrives, a woman becomes less competitive, less likely to be promoted, and she is earning less than her male cohorts.

For every child she bears, it is calculated that a woman loses 13% of her earnings. That's the 'motherhood penalty'. And the Fawcett Society is resolved to eliminate it from all areas of employment, public and private, large and small.

Yet, I have news for the Fawcett campaigners: it's a lifetime condition.

There's a 'motherhood penalty' when a beloved child wrestles with painful situations, be it depression, mental illness, alcoholism or suicide. It's the mothers sitting up late at night, worrying; the mothers lighting candles and praying for succour and moving heaven and earth to help an afflicted son or daughter.

Go to any group counselling session for families with problems and you will be sitting in a circle with mothers desperate to rescue adult offspring who have gone off the rails.

That's a 'motherhood penalty', too: the lifelong sense of anxiety for a child brought into the world. I don't say that fathers don't have such feelings too. They do. But there are plenty of studies which show that men, for whatever reasons of brain-wiring, are better able to compartmentalise their thinking and concerns.

Almost every woman I know of my own vintage – most of them now grandmothers – still has sleepless nights over their adult children: the son who has gone on a motorbike ride through the Rocky Mountains; the daughter who has just had a bruising relationship break-up (and the girl is now middle-aged); the son who has come back home to live because of an impending divorce, or who has lost his job, or is drinking too much; the beloved only child who has decided to emigrate to faraway New Zealand?

Yes, the 'motherhood penalty' is an apt phrase, indeed, for a condition which will last a lot longer than questions about whether your pay packet is keeping up with the guys.

I wouldn't want to disparage the Fawcett Society's campaign to support equal pay for mothers; they are only trying to be helpful and encouraging to women with children. And that's a good thing to do. Sheryl Sandberg sought to do likewise in her book Lean In.

We hear plenty about "unwanted pregnancies", but rather less about pregnancies which would be dearly wanted if the circumstances were supportive.

But I do believe that some of the issues arising from the 'motherhood penalty' come not just from social structures around either career organisation or child-care, but from Nature itself.

It's been well established that as soon as a woman has children, she drives more prudently – I'm talking about averages, not the odd female petrol-head, addicted to speed. I remember watching a niece by marriage strap her young children into car safety seats with such attention to detail she checked every element of the apparatus before setting off behind the wheel. There's a mother's protective care, I thought. It comes directly from her instinct.

Even in my own case – reckless and feckless though I was by temperament – once I had children, I lost a certain edge for risk. As a journalist, I turned down foreign assignments that would take me away from home base for too long, or might be more dangerous. I cannot say that any employer was discriminatory towards me: the 'motherhood penalty' came from nature's own promptings, not any patriarchal system. I became less tough in some ways, and certain scenes brought me more easily to tears.

Remember Mary Robinson when she visited a famine-stricken Ethiopia – this self-assured lawyer in floods of tears at the sight of starving children? That's another side of the 'motherhood penalty': it prompts pity and compassion.

Even Margaret Thatcher, who kept her Cabinet in a state of apprehensive submission, wept openly when Mark, the son who seemed to embody the spoilt-brat syndrome, was lost in an African desert. That, too, was the 'motherhood penalty'.

It is true that many women, overall, lose income and job promotion, which is a key to income, when they become mothers. And it is evident that mothers worry about their children all their lives – "until you go down into the grave" as I was once told by an older mother.

But in the face of the responsibilities and 'penalties' of motherhood, what is miraculous is the number of women who will move any mountain, go to any length and pay any price, to become mothers. The women having four cycles of IVF, the women imploring overseas orphanages to adopt an abandoned child, the women who will agree to a dodgy deal on surrogacy.

Penalty, maybe; also immeasurable reward.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/life/features/being-a-mum-means-less-pay-and-rise-in-anxiety-levels-30553019.html

Back to School Advice: Confidence & Dealing with Anxiety

YOGA FOR DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, DETOX, DIABETES & MORE (part 3)

Obsessive compulsive disorder: When does an obsession cross the line?

Many of us have obsessions. But what's the difference between a healthy obsession and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

"It's part of every single activity I do, day in, day out. I'm never free."

Adelaide woman Sandra Pritchard is talking about her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

For a long time, Pritchard was in denial about her illness and hid it from people.

"It's humiliating when people see. When people notice something's a bit off," she says.

The 30-year-old told Insight she always knew she was an anxious person, but her condition worsened after the birth of her second child in 2009. She has since been diagnosed with OCD.

"I started probably when I was about six or seven, I used to sort things ... I started labelling toys and buckets of toys and that was when I was very young. I didn't have a choice; I wasn't doing it deliberately. It's been on-going and it's been chopping and changing ever since and just gathering steam."

"OCD has become a little bit fashionable in certain areas. The OCD itself, it's something that is significant and it's severe."

Everyday, Pritchard is plagued by invasive thoughts about dying, being sick, and worries about germs and contamination to her skin or food.

These fears drive her compulsive behaviour, which varies from excessive hand washing, rearranging and sorting things, pacing around the house, checking items for uncleanliness and even avoiding situations like social outings or using public transport.

"It's become so entrenched in my life that there is pretty much nothing that I do the normal way."

For the stay-at-home mum the condition is extremely debilitating and prevents her from completing simple tasks.

She is consumed by her illness - it takes a lot of effort just to get dressed in the morning and make a cup of tea.  

"I feel because of my OCD it stops me enjoying life and I am now having to relearn how to do everything."

She also struggles with eating chicken due to a fear that it may not have been cooked property and she will contract salmonella.

She doesn't buy chemicals and cleans everything with baking soda and vinegar and avoids driving which is problematic as it means she sometimes can't take her child to kindy classes.

Pritchard says she has lost a lot of friends, and prefers to be at home, so that has turned her "into a bit of a hermit".  

"I don't want my kids to have the same problem I have because it takes life from you … It has taken pretty much everything that I have. It's just consumed everything, it swallows everything to the point where you're just – you're hollow and you just exist and you say: what's the point?"

Sandra Pritchard. (Insight SBS)

Around three per cent of Australians experience OCD in their lifetime, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

The BBC reported that until the 1980s, experts thought two in every 1000 people were affected by OCD. Recent studies believe it is more common, affecting 2 per cent of the population.

Despite those numbers, a psychiatrist from New Zealand's University of Otago says OCD is an illness that is being over-diagnosed.

Dr Christopher Gale said there are misconceptions about what the condition is. He is worried the term is being applied too loosely between people who have obsessions and those with obsessive personalities.

"OCD has become a little bit fashionable in certain areas. The OCD itself, it's something that is significant and it's severe."

"If you've got thoughts which make you very passionate … even if they're taking over a fair amount your life, that's not an obsession. But when it's unwanted, it's intrusive, it's often repulsive, [and] that's when it becomes an obsession."

Dr Gale said he's dealt with patients who take eight hours to get their OCD stuff done. He said it becomes a health problem when it becomes uncontrollable and "starts ruining people's lives".

"Of all the anxiety disorders, and about one in 10 people have an anxiety disorder, this is the rarest and it's the most disabling anxiety disorder. People who've got OCD are tremendously challenged in what they're doing and they have huge difficulties in getting on with life … I've seen people who had very good careers have them completely destroyed as a consequence of this", Gale says.  

Christopher Gale (left) and Jessica Grisham. (Insight SBS)

Jessica Grisham, senior lecturer from the University of New South Wales, believes Dr Gale is too rigid with his definition of OCD. She sees OCD as a "dimensional symptom spectrum", and thinks people can have "a little OCD" in them.

"Like most disorders it is dimensional. So in its severe clinical form, you really see it impact across spheres of life, but we can see that in the community there are people who experience some kind of a little bit compulsion, some sort of repetitive behaviours, or some intrusive thoughts that don't quite reach the threshold of what we would consider a fully-fledged clinical disorder," she said.  

Grisham was part of the first longitudinal study of OCD following 1000 kids since birth, and said the disorder can be developed later in life as well as being triggered by a traumatic or stressful experience.

"I think there's still more that we need to know and certainly stress can impact. There's people who have vulnerability to OCD and experience events that exacerbate or bring that OCD out."

"I think there's pretty strong evidence that there is a genetic basis for the disorder. It tends to run in families and I agree with my colleagues that relative to some other anxiety disorders, there's a reasonably strong building base of evidence about the neurobiological foundations of the disorder," Grisham said.

"It's a horrible thing to live with."

Looking past the conflict between psychologists and psychiatrists on causes and treatment options for OCD, Pritchard just wants people to know how overwhelming the disorder is.   

"I get a lot of misconceptions about what people think OCD is … it's a horrible thing to live with. You feel like there is someone shoving you towards doing these compulsions and it's such a fight and you can't give up," she said.

"One part of your head's going this is probably not sane' and another part's going oh but you've, just once more, just wipe, wipe once more, wash once more, go and check that thing one more. There's only so much you can do. It's tiring, it's distressing."

"I want people to know and I would hope that people would go out and seek help if they can, if it's not terribly far along."

She has been in and out of care services in Melbourne, Canberra and has made some progress recently working with Adelaide's Women's Health Statewide.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/08/26/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-when-does-obsession-cross-line

YOGA FOR DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, DETOX, DIABETES & MORE (part 2)

Fighting Anxiety And Depression At Work

We live in a world that is very volatile, uncertain, complex and full of ambiguity. We live in an environment, particularly in the corporate world, where competition is increasing, where there is a 24/7 always-on mentality, and where people are expected to do more with less. This sort of environment is conducive to driving people to high levels of stress, which can evolve into depression and anxiety. And given that there's no indication that things are going to get any easier in the future, how can the corporate world better address depression and anxiety and break the stigma associated with those illnesses?

Here are four starting points:

1. Managers and leaders need to become better educated on the importance of a healthy mind. When we were in school, we were taught the importance of a healthy body through physical education and health classes, but we were never taught the importance of also keeping our minds healthy. There is a significant amount of work that needs to be done to educate managers and leaders on healthy minds. They should learn why a healthy mind is important; how to identify if someone might be moving from stress to distress to depression and anxiety; how stress and anxiety are illnesses, not weaknesses; and how to support someone who might be ill and reintegrate them back into the workplace.

2. We need corporate leaders to "come out of the closet" about their experiences with mental illness. When leaders rack up the courage to talk about personal experiences -- or those of a family member or close friend -- they help normalize mental illness and make it easier to talk

about these issues.

3. Put in place opportunities for employees to address their emotional and mental health. It's commonplace for companies to have gyms where people can improve their physical health. Mindfulness and meditation courses, quiet rooms and other opportunities for employees to

recover, recharge and reflect can help nurture employees' mental and emotional health. Oftentimes, the source of anxiety and depression can be factors in the workplace.

The simple act of not giving feedback to employees regarding their performance on a regular basis can be a real source of stress and distress, and can lead to depression and anxiety. When you combine already-existing stress and demands with technology and the need to cut costs, the pressures are even higher. In their New York Times article, "Why You Hate Work," Tony Schwartz and Christine Porath note that 87% of people today find their work disappointing, which leads to less productive work.

Therefore, the competitive edge in the future might be to ensure that employees are well in a holistic sense. In order to achieve this complete sense of well-being, corporations must focus more on enhancing the well-being of their people, and thus attend to not only their physical health, but also their mental well-being (i.e. ability to focus), emotional well-being (i.e. level of happiness), and spiritual well-being (i.e. sense of purpose).

4. Corporations need to become more purposeful in what they do so employees feel a sense of purpose. Giving people a sense of purpose at work is strongly linked to overall well-being. We need a more conscious form of capitalism, where organizations are driven by purpose, by addressing the social and environmental challenges the world faces and in doing so, grow and be profitable. This gives individuals in organizations a greater sense of purpose in what they

do and thus contributes to their overall well-being.

Overall, in wealthy countries, mental illness accounts for 40% of all ill health for people under 65. And as Richard Layard and David Clark write, " [I]t is terrible for those who experience it. But it is also bad for business, since it gives rise to nearly half of all days off sick. And it is bad for taxpayers, since mental illness accounts for nearly half of all the people who live on disability

benefits."

The last 50 years have seen enormous progress in advanced societies: less absolute poverty, better physical health, more education, among many other developments. Yet there is almost as much misery as there was 50 years ago. And the ever-increasing volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity is contributing to this. Businesses must now do their part to reduce this burden, and the four starting points above provide some guidance as to how to begin tackling these issues, to the benefit of their performance, their employees and society as a whole.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/geoff-mcdonald/fighting-anxiety-and-depression-at-work_b_5718735.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

YOGA FOR DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, DETOX, DIABETES & MORE (part 1)

How to detox your life: beat anxiety through meditation

Mindfulness and meditation tips to improve your mental health

Beat stress with meditation Photo: NIELS VAN KAMPENHOUT/ALAMY

Take 10 mindful minutes. There’s so much going on today, so much stimulation, that it’s easy for people never to stop and be mindful. I wouldn’t say busy-ness was a toxin, but not taking time to be aware of yourself, your feelings and surroundings can make things difficult. Just 10 minutes’ meditation a day has a huge impact – it could be the time you normally zone out in front of the television.

Know the benefits. Meditation impacts all areas of life. It can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, improve sleep, enhance productivity, improve physical performance in sports and even help soften the edges in relationships as we become more patient, better listeners and perhaps a little kinder too. The range of benefits is vast and varies from person to person, but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t like a little more calm and clarity in their life.

Commit without judgment. Meditation helps teach you how to clear the head – but it takes practice, just like any other skill. If your expectations are too rigid, you might find yourself disappointed. The best thing to do is to commit to a daily practice. Make this commitment and to keep coming back if you don’t always achieve it. Our experience and evidence show that, over time, you will start to experience real benefits.

Appreciate the present moment. The present is very underrated – it sounds so ordinary, yet we spend so little time actually in it. One Harvard study said that, on average, our minds are lost in thought 47 per cent of the time – and that constant mind-wandering is a source of unhappiness. Just think about how you feel right now sometimes.

Check in regularly. I sometimes suggest putting up a coloured Post-it somewhere you’ll see it during the day – near the kettle or mirror, perhaps. That can be enough to jog you out of the thoughts you’re lost in and to feel less at the mercy of your thinking. It helps create a moment of mindfulness. You come to recognise that all your thinking is temporary, not the “be all and end all” of who you are.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wellbeing/11046587/How-to-detox-your-life-beat-anxiety-through-meditation.html

Social Anxiety and Depression - Full Documentary

How Jennifer Lawrence Overcame Social Anxiety

James Arthur reveals battle with anxiety and plans for a 'therapeutic' new album... after apologising to his fans for being a 'd**k'

His ascent to fame has been filled with controversy but after a tumultuous year, including getting dumped by his record label Syco, things are looking up for James Arthur. 

The controversial singer - whose homophobic rap led to a Twitter spat with fellow X Factor finalist Lucy Spraggan - revealed he has been working on a therapeutic new album and has gotten his anxiety issues under control. 

This followed his performance at V Festival over the weekend where he apologised to fans on stage for being a 'bit of a d**k' following his rise to fame. 

Scroll down for video

Moving on: James Arthur says he is feeling better than ever after overcoming his anxiety issues 

Speaking to ODE, he said: 'I used to have extremely bad anxiety but it's much less apparent these days. I'm more positive about life and  I think when you're in a good place you make the best music.'

James added: 'It is a rehabilitation album because I've been through a bit of a bad time but  I'm in a really great place right now. The next record will be very guitar-based… I’m going to be taking a lot more control.

'You’ll be hearing a raw side to me that you’ve never heard before.'

Apology: While on stage at V Festival over the weekend, James Arthur apologised for his past behaviour 

James Arthur was clearly emotional during his set, telling fans who watched him in Chelmsford: 'Thank you for sticking around for the whole set. I've been a bit of a d**k in the past. 

'I've made some mistakes…All that matters is love and positivity.'

Speaking to heat Radio after his performance, he said: ''I'm in a great place to make music and be an artist and public figure again. 

It's been the biggest fight of my life - I've come up against it with anxiety and depression but I'm come out of it and on the other side, and I'm good...I'm really really happy.

'I didn't know the magnitude of that disease until it really set in for me, and people who have it don't early know how to talk about it, or feel afraid to talk about it.

'And as soon as I did, it changed completely. I opened up to a few people and I'm now very happy with the person I am today.'

Therapy: The X Factor star said his latest album is therapeutic after he battled through all of his issues to get to a better place

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2728005/James-Arthur-reveals-battle-anxiety-plans-therapeutic-new-album-apologising-fans-d-k.html

Online Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Effective in Treating Health Anxiety, Study

(Photo : Flickr) Online Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Effective Against Health Anxiety, Study.

Online cognitive behaviour therapy is more effective in treating health anxiety than active psychological treatments involving relaxation and stress management therapies, according to a new study by the Karolinska Institutet, Sweden.

The researchers said that health anxiety, also known as hypochondria, can be described as a strong, persistent and excessive fear of succumbing to serious illness. Patients suffering from this anxiety disorder experience chest pain or headaches that are often perceived to be some serious disease.

The medical condition causing distress often occurs among patients within primary care and due to mental illness like depression.

The cognitive behaviour therapy via Internet involves gradual exposure to situations that may activate health anxiety.

For the first time, the researchers subjected 158 participants to both internet and psychological treatment for 12 weeks. The participants had access to therapists via e-mail.

The researchers said that the participants found both the treatments to be equally reliable in reducing their anxiety. But, the exposure-based treatment lowered health anxiety to a greater extent than the treatment focused on relaxation and stress management. 

"More people can be treated since the treatment time per patient is significantly lower as compared to that of traditional treatment. Internet treatment is independent of physical distance and, in time, this means that treatment can be administered to people who live in rural areas or in places where there is no outpatient psychiatry with access to psychologists with CBT expertise," said licensed psychologist Erik Hedman, who led the study, in a statement.

The finding is published in the British Journal of Psychiatry.

http://www.universityherald.com/articles/10936/20140816/online-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-health-anxiety-sweden.htm

Is the crippling anxiety over exams what we want for our children?

The driving despair that has foreshadowed A-level results may well be a price too high

Ecstasy after the agony: A-level students for whom the effort paid off Photo: Christopher Pledger/The Telegraph

Today is a big day at Pearson Towers and in homes across the land. The Daughter will get her A-level results, which should be nerve-wracking, only the anxiety has been superseded by a deeper dread.

For today is also the day she goes in for an operation. “Look on the bright side, Mum, I won’t be upset if I don’t get the A in History because I’ll be unconscious,” she says, trying to joke away our fears, hers and mine. We know the surgeon is among the best in the country, we know the procedure should be relatively straightforward. We know that in 10 days she should be better, much better, than she has been for years. We know, we know, but no one wants their child put to sleep, do they?

And yet, in some bizarre way, I realise that I am almost grateful for the fact of the surgery. My child’s vulnerability has blunted the claws of the nightmare Tiger Mother I know I would have been given half a chance. It has taught me perspective, which is seriously lacking in an age obsessed with exam grades and league tables, itself a kind of national sickness for which there is only one known cure: AAA.

One 19-year-old who will not be opening her results with trepidation this morning is Amy Latham. A couple of months ago, it was reported that Amy, a pupil at the Queen Elizabeth School in Wimborne, Dorset, appeared to have killed herself while suffering dreadful anxiety over A-levels. In the weeks before her disappearance, Amy had expressed fears about her exams on social media. On June 5, she posted on Twitter: “Option 1: stay in, cry over Macbeth notes, fail English A-level Option 2: go out, cry over ignored responsibilities, fail English A-level.” On May 15, she said: “Someone kill me before I f--- up my English exam for the second time.”

Those tweets make me want to weep. For one thing, a young woman who could come up with Options 1 and 2 had no difficulties with English. Even in her dread, Amy was wittily alert to the cruel irony of her situation. She sounds fabulous. How could a bright young woman like that be so terrified of messing up her A-level that she chose to hang herself? Let me try and guess.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationopinion/11031251/Is-the-crippling-anxiety-over-exams-what-we-want-for-our-children.html

I Filmed My Anxiety Attack/Panic Attack

Celebrities With Anxiety Disorders

Ashley James shares her advice on beating depression and anxiety in her latest Metro blog

Ashley James offers advice on overcoming depression and anxiety (Picture: Ashley James)

Ashley James is best known for starring in E4’s hit show Made In Chelsea when she joined the cast for a whirlwind two series, leaving in 2013. Aside from Chelsea, she’s also a model, TV presenter and blogger. After opening up on her battle with depression and anxiety in her blog last week, here she offers advice on how she overcame these issues. 

‘I have been overwhelmed by the support and positive comments I have received in their hundreds since publishing my blog post last Monday. Amazingly I haven’t come across one negative comment, which is quite surprising in our world of trolling. So firstly I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to get in touch with me.

I talked in the post about the overwhelming feeling of isolation and loneliness I felt. What’s astonishing to see from those who got in touch is that nearly everybody either went through the same, or knew someone who was suffering and was struggling to understand their torment until they read my blog. So try not to feel lonely, as you are very much not alone.

I thought it might be useful in my next post to offer you advice on what helped me out of the darkness. Please take into account that this is my personal opinion based on my individual experience only.

Get into a routine

Implement structure and routine into your life. For me I found going for a run in the morning helped, as well as preparing and eating healthy food.

Act on what’s making you unhappy

Make a brainstorm of everything that’s troubling you or having a negative impact in your life. This could be an unhappy relationship, friendship, job, money…. Whatever it is make plans on how to change them. Don’t do anything too drastic as that might leave you feeling worse or lost. In my case, my relationship wasn’t making me happy, so I ended it. I had a friend who always brought me down so I distanced myself and focused my energy on friends who made me feel good. I was in a career I wasn’t passionate about, so I took holiday and did a presenting course to kick-start my presenting career. Small steps are fine, and remember that life is a journey not a destination so enjoy the steps you make that get you towards your goals.

Ashley, pictured here with friends, says it’s important to reflect on your life and work out what’s making you unhappy (Picture: Ashley James)

Read

Obviously if you hate reading then look at something else – audiobooks, films etc. For me, reading kept my mind focused on something other than my own thoughts. Sometimes I’d read a book a day. Crime thrillers are my favourite as I get totally enraptured in the world and become desperate to uncover the story.

Take up a hobby

Sometimes anxiety or depression can be amplified when you have too much time to sit and over-think. Learning something new occupies your mind, gives you something to look forward to and learn, and also opens your horizons to new people. Perhaps you’d want to start writing, start a YouTube channel, take up dance classes, go on a photography or make-up course…. The list of things you could do is endless, and a hobby may turn into a career.

We weren’t made to sleep; we were made to rest

If you can’t sleep, don’t stress about it as you’ll work yourself up more. Listen to music or an audiobook, and just relax. Harry Potter audiobooks are the best because you can listen to the sweet sweet sound of Stephen Fry’s voice. When I was 8 years old at boarding school I couldn’t sleep one night and got so upset. My dorm captain, a twelve year old girl, told me: we weren’t made to sleep we were made to rest. That’s stuck with me ever since. Think of times when you’ve stayed up late partying, chatting, or watching back to back episodes of 24 – you got through the next day then, and lying in bed is much more relaxing.

Ashley says try not to stress out unnecessarily (Picture: Ashley James)

See a psychic

You may be cynical, and I was too, but a friend recommended I go see a lady called Katy Winterbourne. She pinpointed things that were troubling me, and left me feeling focused on an exciting future. I still go see a lady called Elizabeth Caroline who incorporates facials with chakra and aura readings – she offers me a wonderful sense of insight and clarity.

Don’t expect other people to help you

It can be easy to blame your friends or partner for not supporting or helping you out of your torment. Don’t. You have to understand that dealing with someone with anxiety or depression can be draining and exhausting, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Source your own happiness.

Write a memory book

Everyday write down the three most positive things about the day. It could be something minor like a stranger saying bless you, or your friend telling you you look beautiful. When you’re feeling low, read through it.

I’m sure there are a million other ways that can get you through your depression, and I’d love you to share them in the comments below. As I’ve learnt, you are very much not alone, so let’s all help each other.

http://metro.co.uk/2014/08/04/ashley-james-throws-open-the-doors-to-her-battle-with-depression-and-anxiety-in-her-next-metro-blog-4820219/

Chris - Living With Anxiety (Documentary)

Parental anxiety: why do mums and dads feel so guilty?

There is probably no question that has been as widely discussed as the challenges involved in bringing up children. In the contemporary west, it invariably promotes guilt.

‘The widespread assumption that there was something weird in the west’s traditional understanding of children is correct’. Photograph: Richard Newton/Alamy

Few questions have been as widely discussed as the challenges involved in bringing up children. Nevertheless, in the contemporary west there seems to be an intrinsic problem with even the best intentioned advice; it invariably promotes guilt.

Whether the source is political leaders, think tanks, educationalists, psychologists, bestselling authors or just fellow parents, more information often means more feelings of failure as suggested strategies for fulfilling a child’s potential flounder in the messy reality of family, school and community life.

Why is it that at the very time in western history when humans have finally been freed from the probability that our children will die young, that anxiety about children has become rampant? Why has the enlightened knowledge generated over the past century, meant to displace the religious superstitions of an earlier age, only increased the level of concern? This is a conundrum which can only be fully explained by revisiting the history of childhood.

The widespread assumption that there was something weird in the west’s traditional understanding of children is correct. In the fifth century, the Catholic church fatefully accepted St Augustine’s doctrine of original sin. This teaching – never accepted by Orthodox Christians – proclaimed that every baby was born guilty and bad as a result of having inherited the sin of Adam. A church-sanctioned baptism could save the soul but not the child’s nature – which was deemed to be irredeemably corrupt.

It was not until the 18th century that there was freedom to reject church teaching altogether. As Rousseau and the Romantics famously proclaimed the innocence of children, enlightened westerners supposedly became anxious protectors of children’s innate beauty even as the church carried on with its medieval ways. Or that, at least, is how most commentators have mistakenly conceptualised the dualistic western approach to child rearing.

In fact, the line between religious and secular perspectives was never as neat as this. The Dr Spock style manuals beloved by 20th century parents were pioneered over 300 years ago by puritans who proclaimed original sin with even more fervency than the Pope. It was these extreme Protestants (who would bequeath so much to American culture), who ensured that the task of parenting even in a prosperous largely disease-free world would become one of inherent anxiety. Was there something more that could be done to ensure the child was ready to be saved? What if one oversight condemned a little one to suffering in this life and the next?

The puritan approach to children laid the foundation for the contemporary confidence that, with knowledge and will, human frailty could be overcome. Whereas the limits of action had formerly been emphasised, in the modern world, teachers and parents alike were encouraged to create what God had not –a civilised human being. It was this activist philosophy which found fateful expression in the harsh regimes of children’s homes and boarding schools, and permeated the middle class as puritan stress on the maternal responsibility to save the sinner and create a Christian became mainstream in western culture. In this century, expectations were raised to the point where a child’s salvation was equated with their personal fulfilment and happiness.

The merging of secular and religious thought meant that by the late20th century, faith in the purity and potential of the child was not something that could simply be take for granted - the childhood spirit had to be actively created and protected. Structured and focussed intervention were needed for a young person to become who they really were. Worry about what could be lost had been transferred from heaven to earth, but the earnest search for salvation continued.

The dominant assumption that the celebration of innocence simply replaced the barbaric doctrine of original sin has hindered understanding of the Western experience of raising children. Original sin shaped the west’s understanding of what it meant to be a human, and how to look after a child, for over 1,500 years. But it was the merging of this tradition with activist liberal thought which created the heightened expectations we struggle with today. Revisiting this history will not resolve the complex task of being a parent or providing quality child care in the 21st century, but it might help us understand why we often feel so guilty about it.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/aug/06/parental-anxiety-why-do-mums-and-dads-feel-so-guilty

Top 8 Tips for Managing Anxiety

For so many years, I learned to accept the knot in my stomach that came with anxiety.

Of course, I never thought that I had a problem. I just accepted that "short of breath" feeling that came with my mile-long to-do list and bombarding my mind with the constant "what if" questions.

Thoughts raced through my head such as, Oh boy, I wish I hadn't said that to waking up in the middle of the night thinking, Did I remember to send my boss an email?

All of these are symptoms of anxiety. And as women try to do more, be more, earn more and give more -- anxiety seems unavoidable.

The irony is that only when we're feeling calm, happy and grounded can we be truly productive without diminishing our quality of life.

And I want that for you -- to be the peaceful and alive creator of your own life.

It's a process, but we can only do this through conscious awareness and a solid practice of self-love.

Here are my top eight tips for managing anxiety:

1. Sleep

Seems too simple, right? But honestly you cannot underestimate the benefits and how it can make you feel calmer and generally more in control of your life.

2. Daily Exercise

Get your body moving! Yoga is powerful at taming anxiety mentally and physically, but any exercise that feels fun for you is A-OK.

3. Meditate

Like yoga, meditation is brilliant at detaching from anxious trains of thought. Just sitting still and remembering that in the present moment there is nothing to fear is key.

4. Acceptance

Accepting a situation (and yourself) can be enormously liberating. It is also giving you the best chance of healing.

5. Drop the coffee

Stimulants are one of the biggest no-nos for those who suffer from anxiety. Try to reduce all caffeine from your daily diet until you can get a feel for what life is like without it.

6. "This too shall pass"

Saying this phrase helps me a lot. A bout of anxiety does not last for long. Have the presence of mind to recognize anxiety for what it is when it's happening and know that "this too shall pass."

7. Talk to others

Talking it out with someone, either a coach or someone who understands what you are going through is so important. Know that you are not alone or have to do it all by yourself. It's OK to ask for help.

8. Connect to yourself

Above all, be really kind and patient with yourself. Frustration as well as pushing yourself are your worst enemies and may bring on old feelings of anxiety. Treat yourself as you would someone you love. Compassion for yourself is the hardest of all, but the most deserved of all.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexis-meads/anxiety_b_5619293.html