We live in a world that is very volatile, uncertain, complex and full of ambiguity. We live in an environment, particularly in the corporate world, where competition is increasing, where there is a 24/7 always-on mentality, and where people are expected to do more with less. This sort of environment is conducive to driving people to high levels of stress, which can evolve into depression and anxiety. And given that there's no indication that things are going to get any easier in the future, how can the corporate world better address depression and anxiety and break the stigma associated with those illnesses?
Here are four starting points:
1. Managers and leaders need to become better educated on the importance of a healthy mind. When we were in school, we were taught the importance of a healthy body through physical education and health classes, but we were never taught the importance of also keeping our minds healthy. There is a significant amount of work that needs to be done to educate managers and leaders on healthy minds. They should learn why a healthy mind is important; how to identify if someone might be moving from stress to distress to depression and anxiety; how stress and anxiety are illnesses, not weaknesses; and how to support someone who might be ill and reintegrate them back into the workplace.
2. We need corporate leaders to "come out of the closet" about their experiences with mental illness. When leaders rack up the courage to talk about personal experiences -- or those of a family member or close friend -- they help normalize mental illness and make it easier to talk
about these issues.
3. Put in place opportunities for employees to address their emotional and mental health. It's commonplace for companies to have gyms where people can improve their physical health. Mindfulness and meditation courses, quiet rooms and other opportunities for employees to
recover, recharge and reflect can help nurture employees' mental and emotional health. Oftentimes, the source of anxiety and depression can be factors in the workplace.
The simple act of not giving feedback to employees regarding their performance on a regular basis can be a real source of stress and distress, and can lead to depression and anxiety. When you combine already-existing stress and demands with technology and the need to cut costs, the pressures are even higher. In their New York Times article, "Why You Hate Work," Tony Schwartz and Christine Porath note that 87% of people today find their work disappointing, which leads to less productive work.
Therefore, the competitive edge in the future might be to ensure that employees are well in a holistic sense. In order to achieve this complete sense of well-being, corporations must focus more on enhancing the well-being of their people, and thus attend to not only their physical health, but also their mental well-being (i.e. ability to focus), emotional well-being (i.e. level of happiness), and spiritual well-being (i.e. sense of purpose).
4. Corporations need to become more purposeful in what they do so employees feel a sense of purpose. Giving people a sense of purpose at work is strongly linked to overall well-being. We need a more conscious form of capitalism, where organizations are driven by purpose, by addressing the social and environmental challenges the world faces and in doing so, grow and be profitable. This gives individuals in organizations a greater sense of purpose in what they
do and thus contributes to their overall well-being.
Overall, in wealthy countries, mental illness accounts for 40% of all ill health for people under 65. And as Richard Layard and David Clark write, " [I]t is terrible for those who experience it. But it is also bad for business, since it gives rise to nearly half of all days off sick. And it is bad for taxpayers, since mental illness accounts for nearly half of all the people who live on disability
benefits."
The last 50 years have seen enormous progress in advanced societies: less absolute poverty, better physical health, more education, among many other developments. Yet there is almost as much misery as there was 50 years ago. And the ever-increasing volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity is contributing to this. Businesses must now do their part to reduce this burden, and the four starting points above provide some guidance as to how to begin tackling these issues, to the benefit of their performance, their employees and society as a whole.
Mindfulness and meditation tips to improve your mental health
Beat stress with meditationPhoto: NIELS VAN KAMPENHOUT/ALAMY
Take 10 mindful minutes. There’s so much going on today, so much stimulation, that it’s easy for people never to stop and be mindful. I wouldn’t say busy-ness was a toxin, but not taking time to be aware of yourself, your feelings and surroundings can make things difficult. Just 10 minutes’ meditation a day has a huge impact – it could be the time you normally zone out in front of the television.
Know the benefits. Meditation impacts all areas of life. It can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, improve sleep, enhance productivity, improve physical performance in sports and even help soften the edges in relationships as we become more patient, better listeners and perhaps a little kinder too. The range of benefits is vast and varies from person to person, but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t like a little more calm and clarity in their life.
Commit without judgment. Meditation helps teach you how to clear the head – but it takes practice, just like any other skill. If your expectations are too rigid, you might find yourself disappointed. The best thing to do is to commit to a daily practice. Make this commitment and to keep coming back if you don’t always achieve it. Our experience and evidence show that, over time, you will start to experience real benefits.
Appreciate the present moment. The present is very underrated – it sounds so ordinary, yet we spend so little time actually in it. One Harvard study said that, on average, our minds are lost in thought 47 per cent of the time – and that constant mind-wandering is a source of unhappiness. Just think about how you feel right now sometimes.
Check in regularly. I sometimes suggest putting up a coloured Post-it somewhere you’ll see it during the day – near the kettle or mirror, perhaps. That can be enough to jog you out of the thoughts you’re lost in and to feel less at the mercy of your thinking. It helps create a moment of mindfulness. You come to recognise that all your thinking is temporary, not the “be all and end all” of who you are.
My dad killed himself and, having struggled with feelings myself, I want to make sure I deal with them properly. You should too.
'Things always change, as long as you give them the chance to.' Photograph: Alamy
I was 24 when my dad, Peter Manderson, took his own life. We had a troubled relationship and hadn’t spoken to each other for about six years; for no real reason we just stopped. Then one day I got in touch to try and repair some of the damage. It was Boxing Day and we argued over the phone about where to meet. I got angry, and my dad, who was a gentle man, stammered and stuttered. The last words I said to him were: “If I ever see you again I’m going to knock you out.” It all seems so desperately trivial now.
The tragic last hours of Robin Williams’ life have been raked over in minute detail over the past week. Susan Schneider, his wife, has said he was battling depression and anxiety, as well as the early stages of Parkinson’s.
I still don’t know what was going through my dad’s mind when he killed himself in a park not far from where he lived in Brentwood, Essex, in April 2008. I’ll never know. The last time I saw him alive was my 18th birthday. He had been in and out of my life for years. I was brought up by my gran in Hackney, east London, because neither of my parents were capable of looking after me. I just wish that he could have reached out to someone, anyone.
The moment I found out my dad had killed himself is as clear today as it was when it happened. That morning I woke up with a sense of dread knowing that something was very wrong. My gran came into my room with tears in her eyes and said: “Stephen, your dad’s dead. He’s hanged himself.”
His death was a complete shock and it’s still a struggle to articulate how I felt. I went through so many emotions that day. At first I was angry with him for doing what he did. I kept thinking, how could he take himself away from me? Williams’ daughter Zelda said something similar about her dad: “I’ll never understand how he could be so loved and not find it in his heart to stay.”
I thought my dad was selfish for taking the easy way out. But then I quickly realised that I was the one who was being selfish for thinking he was selfish. For someone to be able to do that, I don’t think it is cowardice; it’s the only solution they think they have. The last thing I said to him kept replaying in my head – you have no idea how much I regret that the final words he heard from me were anger and hate. I would give anything to change that. I never got a chance to say a proper goodbye or tell him that I loved him.
Last year in Britain, almost 6,000 people killed themselves, leaving behind families struggling for answers. Men aged between 30 and 44 are most at risk. My dad was 43. I later found out that one of his brothers had killed himself two years before and that another brother, whom I am named after, is believed to have died after allowing himself to fall into a diabetic coma.
Communication is a big problem with us men. We don’t like to talk about our problems; we think it makes us look weak. There have been times when I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression. I even had cognitive behavioural therapy and although that didn’t work for me, I did find that talking about things to someone helped the problem seem smaller than it was in my head. It’s important to let things out and not bottle them up.
Society likes to tell you that you have to be happy all the time, and it’s easy to think that if you’re not happy then there’s something wrong with you. But happiness isn’t permanent, it’s not something you can feel all the time – and neither is sadness.
What happened to my dad and uncles makes me want to deal with things. As much as I love my dad, I don’t want to be the father to my child that he was to me. I wrote the song Lullaby about my experience of depression and how it has affected my life. The most important lyrics are the final two lines: “Things always change, as long as you give them the chance to.”
His ascent to fame has been filled with controversy but after a tumultuous year, including getting dumped by his record label Syco, things are looking up for James Arthur.
The controversial singer - whose homophobic rap led to a Twitter spat with fellow X Factor finalist Lucy Spraggan - revealed he has been working on a therapeutic new album and has gotten his anxiety issues under control.
This followed his performance at V Festival over the weekend where he apologised to fans on stage for being a 'bit of a d**k' following his rise to fame.
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Moving on: James Arthur says he is feeling better than ever after overcoming his anxiety issues
Speaking to ODE, he said: 'I used to have extremely bad anxiety but it's much less apparent these days. I'm more positive about life and I think when you're in a good place you make the best music.'
James added: 'It is a rehabilitation album because I've been through a bit of a bad time but I'm in a really great place right now. The next record will be very guitar-based… I’m going to be taking a lot more control.
'You’ll be hearing a raw side to me that you’ve never heard before.'
Apology: While on stage at V Festival over the weekend, James Arthur apologised for his past behaviour
James Arthur was clearly emotional during his set, telling fans who watched him in Chelmsford: 'Thank you for sticking around for the whole set. I've been a bit of a d**k in the past.
'I've made some mistakes…All that matters is love and positivity.'
Speaking to heat Radio after his performance, he said: ''I'm in a great place to make music and be an artist and public figure again.
It's been the biggest fight of my life - I've come up against it with anxiety and depression but I'm come out of it and on the other side, and I'm good...I'm really really happy.
'I didn't know the magnitude of that disease until it really set in for me, and people who have it don't early know how to talk about it, or feel afraid to talk about it.
'And as soon as I did, it changed completely. I opened up to a few people and I'm now very happy with the person I am today.'
Therapy: The X Factor star said his latest album is therapeutic after he battled through all of his issues to get to a better place
(Photo : Flickr) Online Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Effective Against Health Anxiety, Study. Online cognitive behaviour therapy is more effective in treating health anxiety than active psychological treatments involving relaxation and stress management therapies, according to a new study by the Karolinska Institutet, Sweden.
The researchers said that health anxiety, also known as hypochondria, can be described as a strong, persistent and excessive fear of succumbing to serious illness. Patients suffering from this anxiety disorder experience chest pain or headaches that are often perceived to be some serious disease.
The medical condition causing distress often occurs among patients within primary care and due to mental illness like depression.
The cognitive behaviour therapy via Internet involves gradual exposure to situations that may activate health anxiety.
For the first time, the researchers subjected 158 participants to both internet and psychological treatment for 12 weeks. The participants had access to therapists via e-mail.
The researchers said that the participants found both the treatments to be equally reliable in reducing their anxiety. But, the exposure-based treatment lowered health anxiety to a greater extent than the treatment focused on relaxation and stress management.
"More people can be treated since the treatment time per patient is significantly lower as compared to that of traditional treatment. Internet treatment is independent of physical distance and, in time, this means that treatment can be administered to people who live in rural areas or in places where there is no outpatient psychiatry with access to psychologists with CBT expertise," said licensed psychologist Erik Hedman, who led the study, in a statement.
The finding is published in the British Journal of Psychiatry.
The driving despair that has foreshadowed A-level results may well be a price too high
Ecstasy after the agony: A-level students for whom the effort paid offPhoto: Christopher Pledger/The Telegraph
Today is a big day at Pearson Towers and in homes across the land. The Daughter will get her A-level results, which should be nerve-wracking, only the anxiety has been superseded by a deeper dread.
For today is also the day she goes in for an operation. “Look on the bright side, Mum, I won’t be upset if I don’t get the A in History because I’ll be unconscious,” she says, trying to joke away our fears, hers and mine. We know the surgeon is among the best in the country, we know the procedure should be relatively straightforward. We know that in 10 days she should be better, much better, than she has been for years. We know, we know, but no one wants their child put to sleep, do they?
And yet, in some bizarre way, I realise that I am almost grateful for the fact of the surgery. My child’s vulnerability has blunted the claws of the nightmare Tiger Mother I know I would have been given half a chance. It has taught me perspective, which is seriously lacking in an age obsessed with exam grades and league tables, itself a kind of national sickness for which there is only one known cure: AAA.
One 19-year-old who will not be opening her results with trepidation this morning is Amy Latham. A couple of months ago, it was reported that Amy, a pupil at the Queen Elizabeth School in Wimborne, Dorset, appeared to have killed herself while suffering dreadful anxiety over A-levels. In the weeks before her disappearance, Amy had expressed fears about her exams on social media. On June 5, she posted on Twitter: “Option 1: stay in, cry over Macbeth notes, fail English A-level Option 2: go out, cry over ignored responsibilities, fail English A-level.” On May 15, she said: “Someone kill me before I f--- up my English exam for the second time.”
Those tweets make me want to weep. For one thing, a young woman who could come up with Options 1 and 2 had no difficulties with English. Even in her dread, Amy was wittily alert to the cruel irony of her situation. She sounds fabulous. How could a bright young woman like that be so terrified of messing up her A-level that she chose to hang herself? Let me try and guess.
The storied comedian and actor Robin Williams had spent time at a rehab facility this summer to maintain his sobriety, his publicist said.
“This morning, I lost my husband and my best friend, while the world lost one of its most beloved artists and beautiful human beings,” Williams’ wife Susan Schneider said in a written statementon Monday afternoon. According to the local sheriff’s office, coroners believe Williams may have committed suicide by asphyxia, and the actor’s representative said he had been “battling severe depression of late.”
While the representative did not elaborate on the potential source of his recent depression, one-third of people with major depression also struggle with alcoholism, and Williams admitted to abusing both cocaine and alcohol during the height of his popularity in the 1970s as alien Mork on Mork & Mindy, which showcased his manic improvisational style. He quit using drugs and alcohol in 1983 and remained sober for 20 years after the birth of his first son.
But in a revealing interview in the Guardian, Williams admitted that while working in Alaska in 2003, he felt “alone and afraid” and turned to the bottle because he thought it would help. For three years, he believed it did, until his family staged an intervention and he went into rehab, he told the Guardian. “I was shameful, did stuff that caused disgust — that’s hard to recover from,” he said then.
He said he attended weekly AA meetings, and this July, TMZ reported that Williams spent several weeks at Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center in Minnesota, for what his representatives said was an “opportunity to fine-tune and focus on his continued commitment [to sobriety], of which he remains extremely proud.”
Studies suggest that alcoholism and depression may feed each other. People who are depressed are more vulnerable to abusing alcohol than those who don’t experience depressive episodes, and those who drink heavily are also more likely to experience depression. The latest evidence also hints that the same genes may be responsible for both conditions, and depression is a strong risk factor for suicide. About 90% of people who take their own lives are diagnosed with depression or other mental disorders. Suicide is also more likely among baby boomers, according to 2013 data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The coroner’s office is continuing its investigation into Williams’ death.
Back-to-School anxiety hits students of all ages. But you and your children don’t have to suffer in silence.
Victor Schwartz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine, walks us through the roots of school anxiety, and what we can do to help students handle their fears.
Preschool
Root of Anxiety: Until preschool, life has centered on home, parents or familiar caretakers. Then, bam! Young children have to negotiate interactions with strange teachers and other kids.
How to Help: First, stay calm because your anxiety is contagious. And prepare your child by arranging play dates away from home and even overnight stays with trusted friends and family. Let them know they’ll be OK, but in a matter-of-fact way that makes them think you really believe it.
Kindergarten – 3rd Grade
Root of Anxiety: Can I live up to teachers’ expectations? Learn my multiplication tables? Handle homework?
How to Help: Here’s where you begin to teach your children the good study habits that will lead to school success. Don’t do homework for them, but help them discover how to get from point A to B; how to recover from mistakes; how to be persistent. Playing board and card games are good ways to teach these lessons indirectly.
4th – 6th Grade
Root of Anxiety: Schoolwork now centers around long-term projects, and school social life forms into cliques – two scary propositions for many children.
How to Help: Before school starts, plan activities that stress persistence, organization and deferred gratification. Making model planes, ships and trains teach organization and tenacity. Studying an instrument teaches how to navigate short-term frustration for long-term gains. Even video games – yes, video games — help kids persist until they get to the next level.
Middle School
Root of Anxiety: It’s a wonder anyone makes it through these wonder years when romantic and sexual feelings begin to blossom, social competitiveness reaches fever pitch, and even thoughts about college and future success emerge.
How to Help: Be sensitive to the turmoil, and help kids find a range of pleasurable activities outside school that enable them to find success and forge friendships – sports teams, community center groups; theater clubs. Share stories about your middle school struggles, but don’t give a happy, pat ending (which probably isn’t true). Kids see through that and turn off to future fables.
High School
Root of Anxiety: High school students are battered at both ends – raging hormones that feed charged emotional and sexual situations, and real concerns about their futures – college, jobs, marriage. They’re bombarded by advertising that tells them they’re not good enough (that’s how you sell products), and by adults that pressure them to succeed. This is the age where depression, anxiety, food and obsessive disorders emerge.
How to Help: Try to find time – family dinners, vacations, driving in the car – to share your definition of success: hopefully, it’s not which designer bag you carry or elite college you attended. And recognize that your emotional state is catching, and try not to worry about the same things that are plaguing your kid.
College
Root of Anxiety: Separation anxiety emerges again as your freshman prepares for life away from home, maybe for the first time. New college students worry about fitting into a whole, new social world and failing academically. If they’re paying for their own education, financial worries may also keep them up at night.
How to Help: Make sure they leave for college knowing how to do their own laundry, handle a debit card, and whom to ask for help when they need it. Talk to them about the life/work balance, which they’ll have to navigate throughout their lives. And discuss practical things like food choices, sleep routines, and how drugs and alcohol never solve problems.
When It’s Time to Get Professional Help
Most back-to-school anxiety is normal and manageable. But sometimes fears – yours and your kids’ – take over.
Here’s when to seek professional help.
• Anxiety is more intense than usual.
• Anxiety doesn’t get better over time.
• Anxiety interferes with eating and sleeping.
• Activities that usually reduce stress, don’t work.
Ashley James offers advice on overcoming depression and anxiety (Picture: Ashley James)
Ashley James is best known for starring in E4’s hit show Made In Chelsea when she joined the cast for a whirlwind two series, leaving in 2013. Aside from Chelsea, she’s also a model, TV presenter and blogger. After opening up on her battle with depression and anxiety in her blog last week, here she offers advice on how she overcame these issues.
‘I have been overwhelmed by the support and positive comments I have received in their hundreds since publishing my blog post last Monday. Amazingly I haven’t come across one negative comment, which is quite surprising in our world of trolling. So firstly I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to get in touch with me.
I talked in the post about the overwhelming feeling of isolation and loneliness I felt. What’s astonishing to see from those who got in touch is that nearly everybody either went through the same, or knew someone who was suffering and was struggling to understand their torment until they read my blog. So try not to feel lonely, as you are very much not alone.
I thought it might be useful in my next post to offer you advice on what helped me out of the darkness. Please take into account that this is my personal opinion based on my individual experience only.
Get into a routine
Implement structure and routine into your life. For me I found going for a run in the morning helped, as well as preparing and eating healthy food.
Act on what’s making you unhappy
Make a brainstorm of everything that’s troubling you or having a negative impact in your life. This could be an unhappy relationship, friendship, job, money…. Whatever it is make plans on how to change them. Don’t do anything too drastic as that might leave you feeling worse or lost. In my case, my relationship wasn’t making me happy, so I ended it. I had a friend who always brought me down so I distanced myself and focused my energy on friends who made me feel good. I was in a career I wasn’t passionate about, so I took holiday and did a presenting course to kick-start my presenting career. Small steps are fine, and remember that life is a journey not a destination so enjoy the steps you make that get you towards your goals.
Ashley, pictured here with friends, says it’s important to reflect on your life and work out what’s making you unhappy (Picture: Ashley James)
Read
Obviously if you hate reading then look at something else – audiobooks, films etc. For me, reading kept my mind focused on something other than my own thoughts. Sometimes I’d read a book a day. Crime thrillers are my favourite as I get totally enraptured in the world and become desperate to uncover the story.
Take up a hobby
Sometimes anxiety or depression can be amplified when you have too much time to sit and over-think. Learning something new occupies your mind, gives you something to look forward to and learn, and also opens your horizons to new people. Perhaps you’d want to start writing, start a YouTube channel, take up dance classes, go on a photography or make-up course…. The list of things you could do is endless, and a hobby may turn into a career.
We weren’t made to sleep; we were made to rest
If you can’t sleep, don’t stress about it as you’ll work yourself up more. Listen to music or an audiobook, and just relax. Harry Potter audiobooks are the best because you can listen to the sweet sweet sound of Stephen Fry’s voice. When I was 8 years old at boarding school I couldn’t sleep one night and got so upset. My dorm captain, a twelve year old girl, told me: we weren’t made to sleep we were made to rest. That’s stuck with me ever since. Think of times when you’ve stayed up late partying, chatting, or watching back to back episodes of 24 – you got through the next day then, and lying in bed is much more relaxing.
Ashley says try not to stress out unnecessarily (Picture: Ashley James)
See a psychic
You may be cynical, and I was too, but a friend recommended I go see a lady called Katy Winterbourne. She pinpointed things that were troubling me, and left me feeling focused on an exciting future. I still go see a lady called Elizabeth Caroline who incorporates facials with chakra and aura readings – she offers me a wonderful sense of insight and clarity.
Don’t expect other people to help you
It can be easy to blame your friends or partner for not supporting or helping you out of your torment. Don’t. You have to understand that dealing with someone with anxiety or depression can be draining and exhausting, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Source your own happiness.
Write a memory book
Everyday write down the three most positive things about the day. It could be something minor like a stranger saying bless you, or your friend telling you you look beautiful. When you’re feeling low, read through it.
I’m sure there are a million other ways that can get you through your depression, and I’d love you to share them in the comments below. As I’ve learnt, you are very much not alone, so let’s all help each other.
There is probably no question that has been as widely discussed as the challenges involved in bringing up children. In the contemporary west, it invariably promotes guilt.
‘The widespread assumption that there was something weird in the west’s traditional understanding of children is correct’. Photograph: Richard Newton/Alamy
Few questions have been as widely discussed as the challenges involved in bringing up children. Nevertheless, in the contemporary west there seems to be an intrinsic problem with even the best intentioned advice; it invariably promotes guilt.
Whether the source is political leaders, think tanks, educationalists, psychologists, bestselling authors or just fellow parents, more information often means more feelings of failure as suggested strategies for fulfilling a child’s potential flounder in the messy reality of family, school and community life.
Why is it that at the very time in western history when humans have finally been freed from the probability that our children will die young, that anxiety about children has become rampant? Why has the enlightened knowledge generated over the past century, meant to displace the religious superstitions of an earlier age, only increased the level of concern? This is a conundrum which can only be fully explained by revisiting the history of childhood.
The widespread assumption that there was something weird in the west’s traditional understanding of children is correct. In the fifth century, the Catholic church fatefully accepted St Augustine’s doctrine of original sin. This teaching – never accepted by Orthodox Christians – proclaimed that every baby was born guilty and bad as a result of having inherited the sin of Adam. A church-sanctioned baptism could save the soul but not the child’s nature – which was deemed to be irredeemably corrupt.
It was not until the 18th century that there was freedom to reject church teaching altogether. As Rousseau and the Romantics famously proclaimed the innocence of children, enlightened westerners supposedly became anxious protectors of children’s innate beauty even as the church carried on with its medieval ways. Or that, at least, is how most commentators have mistakenly conceptualised the dualistic western approach to child rearing.
In fact, the line between religious and secular perspectives was never as neat as this. The Dr Spock style manuals beloved by 20th century parents were pioneered over 300 years ago by puritans who proclaimed original sin with even more fervency than the Pope. It was these extreme Protestants (who would bequeath so much to American culture), who ensured that the task of parenting even in a prosperous largely disease-free world would become one of inherent anxiety. Was there something more that could be done to ensure the child was ready to be saved? What if one oversight condemned a little one to suffering in this life and the next?
The puritan approach to children laid the foundation for the contemporary confidence that, with knowledge and will, human frailty could be overcome. Whereas the limits of action had formerly been emphasised, in the modern world, teachers and parents alike were encouraged to create what God had not –a civilised human being. It was this activist philosophy which found fateful expression in the harsh regimes of children’s homes and boarding schools, and permeated the middle class as puritan stress on the maternal responsibility to save the sinner and create a Christian became mainstream in western culture. In this century, expectations were raised to the point where a child’s salvation was equated with their personal fulfilment and happiness.
The merging of secular and religious thought meant that by the late20th century, faith in the purity and potential of the child was not something that could simply be take for granted - the childhood spirit had to be actively created and protected. Structured and focussed intervention were needed for a young person to become who they really were. Worry about what could be lost had been transferred from heaven to earth, but the earnest search for salvation continued.
The dominant assumption that the celebration of innocence simply replaced the barbaric doctrine of original sin has hindered understanding of the Western experience of raising children. Original sin shaped the west’s understanding of what it meant to be a human, and how to look after a child, for over 1,500 years. But it was the merging of this tradition with activist liberal thought which created the heightened expectations we struggle with today. Revisiting this history will not resolve the complex task of being a parent or providing quality child care in the 21st century, but it might help us understand why we often feel so guilty about it.
For so many years, I learned to accept the knot in my stomach that came with anxiety.
Of course, I never thought that I had a problem. I just accepted that "short of breath" feeling that came with my mile-long to-do list and bombarding my mind with the constant "what if" questions.
Thoughts raced through my head such as, Oh boy, I wish I hadn't said that to waking up in the middle of the night thinking, Did I remember to send my boss an email?
All of these are symptoms of anxiety. And as women try to do more, be more, earn more and give more -- anxiety seems unavoidable.
The irony is that only when we're feeling calm, happy and grounded can we be truly productive without diminishing our quality of life.
And I want that for you -- to be the peaceful and alive creator of your own life.
It's a process, but we can only do this through conscious awareness and a solid practice of self-love.
Here are my top eight tips for managing anxiety:
1. Sleep
Seems too simple, right? But honestly you cannot underestimate the benefits and how it can make you feel calmer and generally more in control of your life.
2. Daily Exercise
Get your body moving! Yoga is powerful at taming anxiety mentally and physically, but any exercise that feels fun for you is A-OK.
3. Meditate
Like yoga, meditation is brilliant at detaching from anxious trains of thought. Just sitting still and remembering that in the present moment there is nothing to fear is key.
4. Acceptance
Accepting a situation (and yourself) can be enormously liberating. It is also giving you the best chance of healing.
5. Drop the coffee
Stimulants are one of the biggest no-nos for those who suffer from anxiety. Try to reduce all caffeine from your daily diet until you can get a feel for what life is like without it.
6. "This too shall pass"
Saying this phrase helps me a lot. A bout of anxiety does not last for long. Have the presence of mind to recognize anxiety for what it is when it's happening and know that "this too shall pass."
7. Talk to others
Talking it out with someone, either a coach or someone who understands what you are going through is so important. Know that you are not alone or have to do it all by yourself. It's OK to ask for help.
8. Connect to yourself
Above all, be really kind and patient with yourself. Frustration as well as pushing yourself are your worst enemies and may bring on old feelings of anxiety. Treat yourself as you would someone you love. Compassion for yourself is the hardest of all, but the most deserved of all.
